From: Anonymous-Remailer@See.Comment.Header (The Librarian)
Subject: PGPed Where the heck have *I* been? From 1972 to 1982 and back!
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O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-PS! Am *I* ever blushing, from my arched brows right
down to the *cleavage*! Here I was, in the P.S. of my other post of
this same subject (minus "PGPed"), going on and ON about how I always
PGP-sign my posts since OSA started trying to forge me. But I got so
*hot* thinking about what those cute little OSA boys might be wearing
under their uniforms while trying to be like me, that I FORGOT TO PGP
SIGN MY MESSAGE! Can you *just* be*lieve* it? Well, I am fixing that
*right* now! Kisses!
Gosh-a-mighty! (As my sweet old granny used to say.)
Here I was, standing with my peek-a-thigh Highland-plaid wraparound wool
skirt hiked up in back (I had to take out that big gold "safety-pin"
thingy that holds it together), trying to warm my tight little buns by
the cranky old radiator in the ARSCC Chimerical Library, with my brows
so drawn down in a frown that I thought they were going to knot (as my
granny used to say).
I slid my glasses back up my nose with one finger. (And I noticed again
that I *still* had hologram-glitter nail polish on--which just does
*NOT* work with Highland plaid. I simply have been letting myself go to
pieces with all this work stacked around me!)
An-n-n-nyways, as I was saying: "Gosh-a-mighty!" I thought, rubbing my
icy little buns through the thin pink silkiness that covered them. "Just
how long *has* it been since I posted to a.r.s.?" I mean, I have been
so-o-o-o-o covered up with all this research! Just stacks and stacks and
*stacks* of it!
I dropped my skirt around me, went over to the terminal at my desk, sat
down on the stool and crossed my legs. (Darn! Now what did I do with
that "safety-pin" thingy, anyway? Oh, to heck with it.) I pulled up my
a.r.s. folder and sorted it by date.
I uttered something then that I had *never* heard my granny say--not
*ever*! I couldn't believe it. It had been over a YEAR since I posted to
a.r.s. A *WHOLE YEAR*!
I eased my glasses off and rubbed my eyes in a weary way. <SIGH> "Well,"
I thought, "if they only KNE-E-E-EW what I had been through since then,
maybe they would understand."
I looked at the four towering piles of folders, print-outs, booklets,
and little bits of paper piled up on my desk, recalling how I had sat
alone there so many lonely nights, working overtime, poring over all
those pages with their Mardi-Gras-colored little plastic tabbies and
their dog-earred Post-it notes and their garish Highliter
streaks--indexing, cross-indexing, verifying... .
So, here I am at my terminal now, typing this up for you, my dear, dear,
sweet friends and Library Patrons in the ARSCC, to let you know *why* I
have been absent so long, and what I have been doing to earn my stipend
from BM. (Well, not *everything* I have been doing to earn it. I mean,
certain interested persons read this newsgroup, too, you know!)
If you recall that unpleasantness I last posted about ("THE LIBRARIAN
AND THE LIVING DEAD," posted on 17 January 1999), you may recall that I
mentioned several important dates, and some incidents that somehow all
seemed to coincide in rather--well, convenient--ways.
But I was *so* upset by all the nasty, gruesome things that happened
that terrible, terrible night, that I completely forgot to mention, in
that post, where I had found those dates.
Well! Let me just *tell* you, and you will know *exactly* why you
haven't heard from me in so long.
It started just about a month before that bizarre and fateful night of
"THE LIVING DEAD." It was a Sunday, in the fall of 1998, the old place
was closed, and I was merrily dusting the shelves back in the Reference
section. It was one of those unseasonably warm days, so I had my Dior
blouse tied in a knot around my tiny tummy, my "Daisy Mae" cut-offs
on--just bustin' out all over--and a pair of completely impractical
blue-green Jayne Mansfield satin wedge mules--with little blue-green
chiffon puff "roses" on them, which I just *adore*. I was humming a
Streisand tune when I suddenly stopped in mid-dust-stroke. I cocked my
head as I stood there bent over, one hand braced on one knee, poised to
dust the bottom shelf.
I had heard the unmistakeable little rocking screeching creak of the
mail slot. And then I heard the slide of paper and a big "PLOP!" like
something heavy had dropped on the dark hardwood floor.
Who in name of Xenu could *that* be, coming by on a Sunday?
I straightened up and peered around the end of the bookcase just in time
to see a shadow fleet by in the crack at the bottom of the big front
doors. There was a large manila envelope resting on the floor under the
mail slot--whose little door was still swinging back and forth with a
My mules made that clopping sound as I walked over. I bent down and
picked up the heavy envelope. It had scrawled on it in black Magic
Marker: "ATTN: ARSCC Librarian."
I stuck it under my arm (but, *LORDY* the thing was heavy), turned the
old brass lock mechanism on the doors, and opened one of them. No one
was there. I looked up and down both ways, but the streets were
typically empty for a Sunday. I shrugged and locked up again, then took
the package over to my desk and PUH-LOPPED it down.
When I opened it, there was a plain white-paper cover note loose on top
of a thick, Bulldog-clipped stack of papers. The note said:
"Dear ARSCC Librarian,
"Please find enclosed one print-out of a Time Line. It concerns
Scientology, in the main, but it encompasses other societal and
political events that may have some bearing on incidents associated
with L. Ron Hubbard and Scientology.
"Also please find enclosed a computer disk containing this same
Time Line in a database format, fully searchable.
"We trust that you will exercise all due circumspection and
diligence in both the verification and dissemination of this
information. It has been carefully compiled from numerous
sources by a team of people working for over four years. It may
never be fully finished, but we believe it is at a stage where it
can begin to be circulated to a select few, and that from there it
will be added to, expanded on, and utilized to help sort fact from
"We chose you to be one of those because of your proven track
record of relentlessly verifying and documenting facts before
propagating them. We feel certain that you will subject the
material contained herein to the most rigorous and exacting
scrutiny. We share your ardent passion for hard facts, and invite
you to be merciless in a searching probe of what we expose here.
"We trust you will keep this close to your chest until you have
brought your own investigation of the material to a climax. It's
for your own protection.
"Once you have fully satisfied yourself, you are free to do with it
as you will.
"Above all, stay safe.
My little heart was fluttering like a hummingbird by the time I finished
that note. I sank down in a rolling office chair, my legs splayed out in
front of me, hefted the weight of the Bulldog-clipped stack of papers
into my lap, and fanned myself with the note, staring up at the big
bulbous light fixtures hanging down from the high ceiling on long brass
When I could catch my breath, I slowly looked down--through half-lidded
eyes--at the weightiness in my lap, and it made my breath catch again in
my throat with a raspy hitch. I ran my hand over it, slowly, feeling the
size, the mass of it. I teased up the top page, then another, and
another, faster, faster. It was turgid with fact after fact--running,
streaming down every page! I felt my legs begin to quiver with
excitement and anticipation. I swept it up and clutched it to my heaving
breast, pressing it hard against me, stroking it, squeezing it, hardly
able to believe that there could be such an endless ecstasy of hard
fact, fact, fact, FACT, FA-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-CT!
I suppose you can guess how I spent the rest of that Sunday in the
library. I only know that untold hours passed with me bent over that
piece of work, relishing every scintillating detail, savoring every
succulent taste of truth that flowed from it.
I mean--jeez! It was *something* to *see*!
I was so caught up in the sheer intensity of it, that I never stopped
for a moment to think about the consequences. Not until hours later,
when I had finally locked the thing away in the ARSCC OSA-Proof Safe,
and was home that night, curled up all alone and lonely in my
lace-and-satin black teddy, hugging myself, aching with the want, the
need of sharing it all with somebody.
And then suddenly it hit me.
I sat bolt upright in bed, one spaghetti strap falling off my shoulder,
a strand of hair falling down across my face. I have to VERIFY all this
stuff! I can't post this to ARS until I've CHECKED IT OUT! Oh. My. GOD!
And I fainted dead away.
And so--dear, sweet, loveable ARSers--now you know why your tireless,
selfless Librarian has been so abysmally absent from your midst for a
whole, long year. (Of course, we won't mention the *&^#%*@! SPORGERIES,
FORGERIES and SPAM!)
I've been slaving away over a hot Time Line, checking, cross-checking,
verifying sources--<SIGH>. Well, just *look* at these stacks of research
materials! I mean--sheesh!
And we aren't talking about your run-of-the-mill "Oh, it happened around
1978" kind of Time Line, here. Not by a *LONG* thingy, girls! I mean,
this is right down to the D-A-Y, and *I* mean to the *DAY*.
So, as you WELL can imagine, I still haven't gotten it all done. But I
decided that I've checked out enough so that I can share at least some
of this with you now. I dedided I would lay bare just *part* of this
Time Line, and see if any of you want more. (If you do, you know where
to come, now--don't you? <wink>)
I've decided to post the years 1972 through 1982, since the Time Line
included a precious little "PROLOGUE" section to the year 1972 that I
thought made it just a *perfect* place to start. There is just soooooo
much that happened during that ten years! It's almost unbelievable!
Besides, it will give those dear, dear, hot, sexy boys over at
firstname.lastname@example.org something to read during their hygiene
time, and to share on the phone with their friends in our nation's
capitol--so they can find out how to respond.
It will give Shermy-Wormy something else to fret and foam about.
It will make Meade Emory's sphincter pucker.
It will give Kendrick Moxon hives.
It will give the CIA/DIA/NSA crowd a reason to spew forth some more
disinformation through their martyred mouthpieces here on ARS.
It will give the IRS something to bend over and start investigating.
It will give the Freezoners new reasons to accelerate the free
distribution of L. Ron Hubbard's works as fast and as far as they
It will give Dave Bird something else to pontificate about without
understanding any of it.
It will give conspiracy theorists new grist for the conspiracy mill.
It will give conspiracy deniers new reasons to cry "conspiracy theory"
in that brave, cute little way they have of dismissing the facts that
don't fit their own anti-conspiracy-theory theories and prejudices.
It will give anyone with accurate date information the opportunity to
correct any estimated dates, and to contribute their own information so
it can be added to the Time Line.
It will raise new questions about Robert Vaughn Young's hints that L.
Ron Hubbard was murdered. And when. And where. And by whom. And what he
knows about it. And how he knows it.
It will give Gerry Armstrong priapism. (Oh, no--that's *me* who does
that, isn't it? Hiya, cutey-pie. Is that a secure phone in your pocket,
or are you just glad to see me back?)
And it will give *me* the opportunity for a whole new round of "Stump
the Librarian" that could just go on for MONTHS! (Like I *need*
something else to keep me busy!)
It gives *everybody* something to do! Isn't this *FUN*?!
So, without further ado, I'm going to go *right now* and post the
section of the Time Line covering 1972 through 1982. It's soooooo long
(aaaooohhh!) that I'm going to post it in several parts, named:
1. PART 1, 1972-1973
2. PART 2, 1974-1975
3. PART 3, 1976-A
4. PART 4, 1976-B
5. PART 5, 1977
6. PART 6, 1978
7. PART 7, 1979-1980
8. PART 8, 1981-1982
Now, just to *tease* you--and you KNOW how I LOVE to TEASE you--this
Time Line has *every single event* from the "Stipulation of Evidence" in
it. Right down to the DAY! And, it's got the whole early history of
remote viewing in it (well, what anybody is able to find out,
anyway)--right down to the DAY! Not only THAT, but it's got ALL the
major events from "Bare-Faced Messiah." And from the "Watergate"
Oh, you'll just have to see for yourselves! It's book-length, though, so
snuggle up in a teddy with a toddy, like me, and just *satiate* yourself
with HARD FACTS! Oh, yes, yes, YESSSS!
Happy reading, kids. Now I'm off to buy some frilly new undie things
just in case "Stump the Librarian" really heats up. (I am *so* into
paisley silk right now. It is just the *thing*!) Zed? Are you still out
there somewhere? Sheriff Ron? Are you packing? Who knows--maybe that
new-kid-on-the-block named Safe will show up knocking on the ARSCC
Chimerical Library door, wanting to "Stump the Librarian." And with a
name like "Safe," how could I say no?
'Til then: toodles, kids!
--<The ARSCC Librarian>
P.S. I *do* drop in to ARS from time-time-time, and I have just
*l-a-a-ughed* at the forgeries from OSA in my name. Those poor little
poonies over there try *soooo* hard, and are always, like, soooooo
*limp*! And they still haven't figured out that I *always* PGP-sign my
thingies now, since they started their goony forgeries. An-n-n-n-nyways,
I just wanted to say hi to those poor, horny, lonely boys over at OSA,
and tell them how much I appreciate the flattery of them trying to copy
me, and all. It's just--well, it's sweet. But really, boys, it's such a
*waste*! Get yourselves, like, an inflatable doll, or something, so you
can *put* all that energy somewhere worthwhile! Kisses to you. Keep
*The ARSCC, like its lonely little Librarian (wearing only a few scanty
scraps of perfumed paisley) does not exist.
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